Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

Well all that was supposed to happen has. Let Me explain. Well the HR situation has been resolved to the dismay of the Ex-wife and the bitching has not stopped since June 17th when her lawyer told her there was nothing she can do which I have told her before but didn't believe me. The ex-wife turned to her lawyer and bitched at her for not getting anything for the money she spent on the representation. I interjected and said it was your decision to retain a lawyer don't blame her. It was free money to her because she knew how this was going to finish. Also in the meeting I'm getting back all my military stuff back and all my tools she was holding hostage since the split because she is a bitter woman. She says it's about the kids but all I hear is the opposite from the kids in respect to getting what they need. I prevailed in court and had the money I overpaid into a overage account so I can pay a portion of the payment to make a full payment. I checked with the child support enforcement division and they informed me all I needed was $84.95 fulfil mt obligation this week. When the EX was informed of the amount she blew up and she complained again but C.S. enforcement told her that is what she is entitled too and no more until next payment. She then called me and was screaming over the phone so I just hung up and she called back started all over again and I hung up again. I guess 3 times a charm because she called again and I said if you start screaming again I will call the sheriffs office and file a report of harassing phone calls, so she in a better tone asked what was I doing and I said "What ever do u mean?" said with the child support and I replied that is what is owed after the retroactive money was figured out. Did u get the $84.95 and she said yes, so you've been paid in full until next payment is due. She replied that's not fair and I replied the world is not fair but this is right and if u want to dispute this go to the dept of revenue and asked them because they will tell you what I've said but u won't believe me, go find out for yourself and another thing don't call me anymore regarding child support. She replied I'll get you and I replied you've got to be allot better to catch me remember I'm Mr. Teflon. Nothing Sticks.

HR Services are a Trip

Working for the Government can be rewarding but also very frustrating when it comes to the HR Dept. Back in mid April I received a Fed Ex letter stating that because I had missed a Child Support payment that they are now taking the Child support out of my pay directly. According to the Divorce settlement that is correct if I'm more than 7 days late the Dept. of Revenue can garnish my wages for the money owed but there was no money owed because I was 1 payment ahead and I was advised not to make that weeks payment. So, I didn't. When I received the letter I immediately went down to the Child Support Enforcement and asked what this was and they said The Dept. of Revenue garnished my wages with no just cause. They gave me paperwork to take to the Dept. of Revenue to prove that the payment wasn't missed and was a clerical error. I went down to the office and spoke to a Counselor and all was fixed but the order was already sent to my HR dept. On April 23, 2009 I went to my HR Dept. at my office and stated that the order needs do be rescinded. They faxed a stoppage of the order but it's now May 27, 2009 and it's still in effect. I called to inquire about the status of the rescinded order and was told the specialist in charge of those orders was out for the day and to call back tomorrow to check the status. I was told by my HR Dept. that a rush to rescind the order was in place. I get paid this Saturday and I hope this is stopped by then. This is Government work so it can take years before it's stopped.

The Day the Subpoena was Served

I filed the court documents for the modification of Child Support March 13,2009 and once she is served with the subpoena, she has 20 days to respond to the action or it will go straight to the judge for finalization. Angela was served on the 25th of March and on the same day my eldest daughter got into an accident with Angela's car. I was driving home when I received a call from Angela who yelled at me "YOUR DAUGHTER CRASHED MY CAR" and I replied Is my daughter OK? Angela again said "MY CAR IS WRECKED" I replied " I DON'T CARE, HOW IS MY DAUGHTER? Angela then hung up on me. I then called my daughter on her cell and she answered and began crying immediately and I said Are you OK? she said I bumped my head on the steering wheel but I'm OK. I told her I will be there in 30 minutes, stay there and I get you. When I arrive at the scene my daughter is sitting in the car and Angela is screaming at her from the door and I said "Shut your fucking pie hole". Angela walked away. I said to Angela this is not the place to be screaming at anyone, you do that at home if you feel like it. The woman whom my daughter hit in the rear was like is she nuts or what and I said NUTS. I tended to my daughter because she started getting a bad headache, so I gave some Advil I had in my bag and asked my son to walk to the Amscot to fill a bottle water for his sister. I also asked the other driver if she was OK and by her reaction I knew she was going to sue. But that is not my problem anyone more. She is going to have to deal with it. But once again Angela's Daddy come to the rescue and gives her his Chevy Impala, the same vehicle as I have. I hope she takes care of this one because I think this is the last gift she will get but you never know. Good to have parents with money. My daughter was very upset about the accident but what hurt her the most was that her Mom never asked her if she was OK. That crushed her and that is one reason why I think Angela has changed because of her behavior towards the kids. She was a good mom but now I think she cares only for herself and her things.

No Reward for Bad Behavior

It was Christmas 08' and I had purchased all the gifts for my kids and also bought a Xbox 360 for my son but because of his behavior, disrespect and his lack of desire to go to school I returned it to the store. The Xbox was to be an incentive for him to get his life on track in regards to school and how he treats his mom but it didn't seem to work so I returned the Xbox. I had previously told him if he doesn't change his behavior I will return the Xbox and when I did he got very upset with me. I said What are you getting upset with me, I gave you an opportunity to learn from you mistakes and be a better person and get a reward for doing so. You knew the consequences of your actions if you didn't change the way you were behaving. What I thought was funny is my Ex-wife called to complain about me returning the Xbox and I said Are you kidding me?. You want me to reward him for calling all kinds a vile names to get what he wants out of you. She said now she has to deal with his yelling and cursing . I said you caused this problem by not dealing with him in the beginning and let him gain control of the house. You gave up your authority by not dealing with the issue and now you want to blame me, No I'm sorry your not going to place blame here. It seems I am the only one standing against his behavior towards you. I said your acting like a battered woman and maybe you are but I've done everything in my power to help but if your just going to condone the abuse by not dealing with it I can't help you. I told her If you would have been tougher and made my son go to school he wouldn't be failing. He has been out of school for more than 70 days I told her and she replied that his problem. I said it will be your if the school gets off it's lazy ass and decides to come after you for his truancy. You are the custodial parent and you are responsible for him going to school.

Well it's Christmas Day and the kids are coming over for our traditional Christmas Lasagna, garlic bread and dessert. I cleaned up the apartment and rearranged the living room to fit everyone for dinner. As I was getting things ready for dinner my daughter mentioned than Angela is home alone today. I thought about it and told my daughter to call her mom to see if she would like to come over for dinner and she accepted. Awkward but I did it for the kids not her. Angela was home alone because her girlfriend had taken her son to see his grandparents. We ate dinner and had dessert and after we exchanged gifts. Angela left shortly thereafter so I can have my time with the kids. We had a fun time talking and joking around with each other and then I dropped them off at home around 9pm. It was a good day for me. I'm thankful for the chance to spend time with my kids, I don't get many chances with all 3 at the same time very often.

Eldest Daughters Boyfriend and Family

Well I found out that my eldest daughter is see a new guy and no one told me and at first I tought he was ok but there was something wrong. I felt I wasn't being given the whole story. I took them out fro some wings at the Wing House in our town and watched a local baseball team play. I then called my EX-wife and asked her is there anything she would like to tell me about this boyfriend. Angela said that apparently this guy has been arrested for molesting a girl younger than 16 y/o and she has been having sex with him for a month after dating him for 1 1/2 months. I said what?. Well now I know why the hairs stood up when I looked at him. I decided to have a meeting at my apartment with the 2 of them and asked Angela if she would like to attend and she accepted. I did a background check by using some resources that are available to me and found his arrest record and report of the incident. I picked them both up at the Burger King and brought them back to my place where Angela had been waiting. I had them sit on my couch. I began saying I not doing this to hurt anyone but I want some clarification as to the circumstances and the reason she decided to stay with this joker after hearing of this. I then showed the arrest report to (I'll call him Jose) Jose and the blood drew from his face. My daughter said How did u get that?. I replied what do I do for a living. I can find things about people. Jose explained it's all a misunderstanding with the girls parents. The girl was jelous that he was seeing another girl and wanted him to be her boyfriend so he rejected her she made this accusation. I was arrested and that stopped him from entering the Military(Airforce). My daughter became very upset and said everyone needs to stop involving themselves in her life. I explained to her I am very disappointed in her because I taught her better to involve herself with a criminal and that she is worth more than this piece of garbage. She actually befended him and thats when I knew she was hooked by him. I leaned toward him and said this "If ever you put a hand on her in anger I will kill you and your whole fucked up family" I know that is a threat but what is a father to do. He understood where I was coming from and there was an understanding. I have meet his alcoholic father and grandparents and let them know that I not someone to fool around with because I will do what I say if any harm comes to my daughter. Since then there has been no uproar from him or his family.

Confessions and Regrets

There was a day when my Ex-wife showed up at my house early on a Saturday in a very strange mood. One I have never seen before. I let her into my place and she sat at my computer chair and began crying and I asked her what the problem was?. She answered "She was sorry for what she did and how she ended our marriage". Why are your saying this now? I asked and she responded that she is unhappy in her situation and wishes it were different. I said to her what did you think was going to happen when you deceived, lied and treated me as you did. I told you this is going to come back to you ten fold, nothing will be the same ever. Did you think the grass was greener on the other side I said to her. She said to me that she has no friends, no life to speak of and she is stuck in the house 24/7 because she works from home so there is no going out for lunch with friends because they are all in the office and what friends that she has live 30 miles away and can't just up and go like she used to when she worked out of the office. I said I can't help you with that. My EX-wife Angela sent me an e-mail that said this

Manny,

I'm happy to know you get it, but sad that it took so long. I know you were unhappy for much of our marriage because you lost your zest for living. It has always upset me to see you zone out in front of the TV rather than get out and enjoy life. You gave me that joy in our early years and it's something our kids have learned as they've grown. They are always out living their lives. That's why Sammi was so unhappy dating Angelo... he stopped her from living and doing and being. I had hoped we could remain friends, at least in time. I do love you, Manny. And I do have regrets and I am sorry for a lot of things. When Tinker was sick, I thought we had the chance to be good to each other without all the crap. And when she died... Then with Toni being so involved with Jacquie that she went retarded. And Matt with his moments of not coping well and lashing out. And Sammi, she just wants to hide under the covers and hop it will all go away. We have great kids, Manny. We have done wonderful things.I just wish you would learn to stop giving up on yourself so easily, so quickly, and so totally. I don't now, nor have I ever, wanted you to go away. And I know the kids don't really want that either. They may think it will make things easier but they will only end up feeling you didn't want them or they weren't important enough to keep you near them. And Toni is still seeking your approval. Remember yourself back in the day when you were too busy hating family to try to see where they were coming from. You would have missed out on some great memories with your father, Martha, Mama Giga, Annie, Carlos, your niece and nephew. Toni only gets hateful because she feels she can't do anything right enough for you. She WANTS your approval and I don't know how she's going to handle this change in things. I know you want the best for your kid. And you deserve credit for the way they turned out too. I can't believe you would walk away from them, as you make it sound like you are. You are a wonderful guy and I wish only the best for you. I had hoped we could enjoy our children and continue to raise them and be there for them keeping up that united front so they would know we both meant business and were doing things for their best interest. I hate to see you go, especially if it means the kids won't have access to you. I am truly sorry for hurting you but I am more sorry I couldn't make you happy. I was never the wife you wanted and I am sorry you settled for me. I hope you find happiness and get that love of life back that you had. Always joking, laughing, going places, doing things. That's the Manny I miss and fell in love with. Thank you for sharing that part of your life with me and teaching me not to be afraid to live a little.

Angie

This e-mail was response to this e-mail I sent her which was this

Angie

I would like to say sorry for not being a great husband. I've messed my opportunity to be a great husband. I realize I failed you and myself in that aspect. I now realize I was a hard person to live with but my emotions get to me when I realize my wife was not being faithful. What I should have done was when I woke up every morning and to say to myself, How can I make you happy today? and I didn't do that and I'm sorry. That is something I can't change now but maybe someday I can do that with someone else. I getting all my affairs in order so when I go, their will be no regrets. Have a good Christmas and tell the kids I love them.

Manny

That e-mail says everything about my regrets during our marriage because I thought if I provided a loving home then everything will be fine but I guess that wasn't enough for her. She always wanted more, it was never enough. I tried to give my family everything I had and more and my dreams of the future have now been destroyed. I wanted a wife who was caring , patient, understanding and she was in the beginning. I wanted a partner who was passionate about life and I not always having to entertain her. Most of all I wanted a wife who was passionate with her husband. She was always timid and that should have been a sign to me that our marriage is doomed. Not that sex is the only thing in a marriage but for a relationship to be healthy there must be a healthy sex life. She never let herself enjoy sex, like it was a sin to enjoy sex.
I feel as if after all that has happened and all that will happen, this has been a good thing for me. I get to stop worring about what she is thinking because I truely don't care what she thinks anymore. She wants to equate our divorce as a war, declaring winning or losing depending on the issue at hand. I told her it's not about winning or losing, it's about what is right and best for our kids. If she doesn't see that, there is going to be alot of unnecessary drama coming her way. At this time in my life all I want is to be rid of her but I never will be because she is the mother of my kids. I have come to the realization that it is a waste of my time and energy fighting with Angela whenever she calls to complain because I'm letting her upset me is what she wants to do. So, now I know this, I can stop it from happening anymore by just letting her vent and say How can I help you deal with this? I do this with no regrets.

The kids

My kids are the best thing that came out of my 20 year marriage. I love them very much but now they seem to think that because I'm not there 24/7 they can do what ever they please and that is the furthest for the truth. After all my kids have done since Angela and I have split and divorced has really disappointed me to no bounds. They have lost all common sense and don't have to fear any consequences because Angela is not the authority figure I was. I now realize that it was me who held the kids in check and they new there were consequences to there actions when I was living in the house. I didn't put up with crap and they new it. I had boundries that were not to be crossed. I wasn't a tyrant but I was tough and they new that their bad behavior was not tolerated. I did what I could to make my kids happy and appricate the things they have. We had pool parties with all there friends for all their B-days and for the Fourth of July or just whenever they said can we have a pool party. I 'd go to Sam's and buy the bugers and hotdogs and all the fixin's. I was very good with there friends but when Angela and split, she started to tell her friends lies about me, but a couple of them saw thru her lies and have continued to talk to me when I see them around at functions. My eldest has always been a drama queen and some what of a basket case. She takes everything personnally and holds grudges to the point of harming herself. She used to be a cutter and I asked her why and she said because the stress was getting to her about the divorce. I said but honey this is between your mom and me. There is no reason for you to do this, you may be upset but you can always come to talk to me anytime whether I'm here or not. I'm still your Dad and nothing is going to change that. My middle child also a daughter is more well adjusted, yes this the one who walked out on me at the townhouse. She has her moments of stupidity. Last September she stated to me she wanted to come live with me again but this time unfortunity I said no because I don't want to get burned again by her and her flip flopping. She asked me Why? I said I'm not going to back stabbed again by you. I told her she needs to work out her differences with her mom and stop acting a fool. She talked it out with her mom and everything blew over. Now my son who is the youngest and the biggest(Tall) of all my kids but also can be the biggest pain in the butt. I found out that just this year alone he has missed 70+ days of school and Failed for the year because Angela doesn't want to fight with my son in the morning and get him off to school. She doesn't realize that his mom not me, can be put in jail for him missing so many days of school and it seems Angela doesn't care. It seems whether he passes or not doesn't matter as long as I keep paying the support for the kids. I asked directly why don't you make him go to school and she replied that's his problem. I was like WOW. Why don't I do anything, she said and I replied you are the custodial parent, you are ultimately responsible for his educational needs but your failing in that respect. Angela has asked me to talk to him about schooland he says she lets him get away with it . I told regardless of what your mom does you should have a person goal to finish school and do the best you can because at his point your not graduating on time and going to college is forgone conclusion. I said to him he is messing with his future and it's not looking pretty. I was just told the school has a program for just this type of situation, next year he'll be going to high school for half the day them going to Marchmen for the rest of the day for vocational traing and if he passes both he'll graduate with his class next year and on time and with a skill that can be advanced thru going to college. Hopefully he'll get it done.

Tax Season and Insurance Settlement

In Oct 07' I was involved in an auto accident on my way to work. I was going approx. 50 mph when I looked in my rear view mirror and noticed a car behind me and it seemed it wasn't slowing down. I stayed in my lane thinking he go around me but no luck with that. This gut drove directly into my rear end of my van. He hit me going at least 70-80 mph but amazingly not allot of damage to my van but his car was smashed. He had a small Toyota or Honda. After he hit me I just stood in my lane waiting to see if he was going to run but when he noticed me move to the side of the road he followed because his front end was falling off. I got out of my van walked to his car and asked him why when we are the only cars on the road did you decide to ram me. He wasn't alone in the car, his girlfriend the actual owner of the car was in the passenger seat. I'm thinking that she was giving him a job and he lost control of the vehicle. That is the only way I can explain not seeing my vehicle. My adrenaline was flowing and I didn't fell anything at that time but later in the day I started to fell my back tighten up. I contacted my doctor and he referred me to a rehab place. I called them and they also helped me retain the services of a lawyer to deal with the insurance people. The owner's insurance company called to see when I can get the van to the shop for an estimate of repair. Surprisingly, the cost was minimal about $1500 to repair. I started rehab on my back and that took almost 6 months to do. Well in late July 08' my lawyer called and said they want to settle out of court for $40,000 and I said that's fine, take it. Well, I really didn't get $40,000 because out of the settlement I had to pay the lawyer 33.3% which was $13,333.33 and the medical which was $14,400 and the rest was mine which was $11,564.25. I had to decide what I was going to do with it. I decided to take a trip to Brooklyn, New York for 2 weeks and stay with my sister and Dad, buy a car and get rid of my van which was $414.00 a month(Voluntary Repo). The car I got is way better on gas than the van. Bought clothes for my kids and gifts while on the trip. Bought a plane ticket for my eldest daughter but she never used and I lost $100 for putting that on hold. Well I didn't give a dime to the ex, I asked myself why should she benefit from my pain again. I had a good time with the settlement money but then after spending all that money I was like, How is this going to effect my taxes when tax time is here?. Well, I spoke to a tax professional and explain the situation and said don't worry because you don't have to claim it because is was to bring you back to before the injury and accident occured. So, that relieved alot of fear from my mind.

Emotional Terrorism

My eldest daughter and my son are on a path to drive my ex-wife Angela crazy and I don't know if I should try to help. I know I should but I told her all will come back to her 10 fold. My eldest is leaving dishes and cups in her room whom she shares with her sister and they are constantly fighting over my eldest turning off the lights at night so her sister can go to sleep. Angela is constantly fighting over the power bill that it's way to high and my daughter needs to get off the laptop and go to sleep at a normal hour. I don't see this fighting ending anytime soon. But here is the real dozy my son plays this PC game called World of Warcraft and he has begun to stay on it till all hours of the night and not going to school the next day because he's tired. I say to bad and go to school but I don't live there so she just lets him stay home because she doesn't want to fight with him. So now he playing the game. He can spend all night on the computer and not go to school the next day cause he knows his mom will not fight with him about it. But she calls me to complain about he's on the game all night and he's not going to school. I ask are you waking him up and moving him to go to school or taking the easy road and just not engaging him to go to school. She said I just don't want to fight with him about it, then he's won I said. I try to talk to him about his school but when he gets back to the house he gets upset and tells his she a bitch and a liar. He has been on a terror with his behavior towards his mom. I try to ask him why he does these things and he replies because she deserves everything she is getting. I told him is it because she divorced me and he said yes and that she destroyed our family.. I told him what happened between your mom and me has nothing to do with you guys and you need to respect your mom cause she's your mom regardless of what she's done. He replied when she starts giving respect then she'll get it and not until then. Well, I can't argue with that. I spoke to Angela about this and what my son said and she asked me if she deserved what she was getting. I didn't answer her but in my head I was yelling "YES". She said all she wants to do is get some sleep but he's all day, all night, laughing, cursing and typing on that dame game. I told her I would try to put the parental controls on the game so she can get some sleep for once and we age ed on what time the game would be ending. I put the parental controls on the game and when it shutoff in the middle of a raid he went crazy in the house and Angela called me at around 11pm(I was sleeping) because they have been fighting for an hour already, she asked me to remove the controls and I told her if I do this, this will be the last time I want to hear of this. She said turn them off and I did. He realizes that as long he's acting like this he'll get what he wants in that house. Angela called the other day asking if I would pay for a month of World of Warcraft for my son and I replied are you out of your fucking mind because if I do that I'm condoning his behavior towards you and I don't so I won't. I'm sorry I said but I told you I don't want to hear of it again. I tried to help but you won't keep up a united front regarding this issue. I'm done with it.

Great friends and Family Support

I can truly say that 2008 was a tough but great year. It started off with difficult issues being resolved but if not for the advice and support from my friends and family, I don't know what I would have done. I probably would have gone crazy and done something horrible but for the great friends and family I have, that was not necessary to do. Thru friendships and talking about issues, I have come to realize that all that happened last year, it had a reason. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have advice to all Men who have gone or will go thru similar issues as I to never back done, never give up and fight till the last drop of blood , sweat and tears. If it were not for friends such as Jason and Eddie's advice and support who were instrumental in my identifying that what I was going thru was for a reason, I would have cracked. Cause after 22 years together sharing birthdays, holiday, family events all the exes want is the money you have besides Child Support and to make sure you as miserable in your life as they are in theirs, so to get back at them by living your life to the fullest and because of that, they will hate you. They will see what they have missed out on. Most woman not all believe that after they see that we are moving on, they want what we have and will do everything to get it. They want us to be as miserable as they are. My EX came over one night and confessed to me that she is unhappy in her situation but she needs the girlfriend to help with the expenses with the house. That the kids are driving her crazy, she has no friends or life to speak of and she complains that I get to come and go as I please and I replied "That is the beauty of Divorce". I told her I gave her what she asked for and now your regretting it, it's to late to go back. I've established myself again and I'm enjoying myself. She said "If I get her to leave will you come home" and I said "NO" because I can't trust what you say or do. That is gone and will never come back. At that point I said "I guess the grass is not greener on the other side". She replied " You win". I said "it's not about winning or losing it's about what is best for the kids". I think me being emotionally and financially stable is the best thing that can happen for my kids cause then I can help them achieve there goals whatever they may be. Pay your Child Support and do what is right by you. Don't do anything more or less than what the laws allows you to do. Stick to your agreements and don't make promises you can't or won't keep. Save all corresponses between you and the Ex cause it may help you in court hearings as it did for me. Keep a file on everything that has to do with the kids and the Ex cause it will only help you in the end. For those that don't have a lawyer there are services out there to help you prepare the legal paperwork to get things rolling in the proper direction. It's not very expensive compared to a minimum of $1500 for a lawyer to do the paperwork verses with my cost of $300.00. The lawyer fees doesn't include going to the hearing and that cost approximately $100 to $200 an hour. If you are doing the right thing and are articulate in your speech and reasoning, you'll do fine. I said to Exes lawyer "That the only difference between you and me is that you have a piece of paper that says you went to law school but the knowledge in your head, I can get thru research on the Internet". So don't be intimidated by lawyers because they are liable for their wrong doings and they don't want to be tied to something unethical or illegal. So drive on brothers and fight the good fight.

Internal Affairs and being Mr. Teflon

When my Criminal case was over, my job decided to have Internal Affairs do an investigation into the charges against me. They were notified by me and by the courts that the charges had been reduced to Disorderly conduct and I received 6 months probation. Well, I was still staying at the shelter at this time so there was no home # to call, just my cell #. I was told that a meeting was to be scheduled so I would speak and make a statement to the investigators regarding the final judgement. Well, I was on my days off when my Manager decided to call me and told me "Where are you" I replied "Who the hell is this". My Manager said "This is Marco", you have an appointment with IA today". I said "No one told me, I guess your are going to have reschedule it because I'm not in the area". I said to him "If you guys want me to be there, someone going have to say something to me in advance so I can make sure I can be there". So when I got back to work in 2 days, my manager told me "I better watch how I talk to him" and I replied "Your the one who call me and didn't identify who you were, so If anyone needs to correct how they speak to someone it is you", also if an appointment is made don't you think the interested person (ME)should know when that appointment is. Well I meet with the IA investigators regarding the arrest and they were OK but one was just intent on what the statements said and I told him "I don't care what the statements say That is not how it went down. I showed him letters from my EX that stated that she just wanted me out of the house and that was the easiest way to do it. So I really don't care if you believe me or not but the truth is I was arrested on a false charge and I outlasted the prosecution and they agreed to my terms not the other way around. I wrote a statement for them about the night I was arrested and gave it to them. It took 4 pages to complete. I told them that the only reason I took the disorderly was so my son would not have to testify and be questioned why he changed his statement. The prosecution would have battered him on the stand and I didn't want that to happen. Well, a week past and the decision was to give me a counseling statement (non formal disciplinary) that says don't do it again. Really it's not worth the paper it's written on. That is all they can do because all other paths of discipline were unwarranted. I take this as a VICTORY in my eyes because I beat the criminal case, the Divorce and now my job. I am what my fellow soldiers in the Army used to call me and that is MR. TEFLON because nothing sticks.

Child Support and the State of Florida

March-August 08'. The Child Support system here in Florida is run by 2 state agencies, the Dept. of Revenue and Child Support Enforcement. When I got divorced the agreement was that I would pay the child support directly to my EX. The 1st payment due 2 weeks after the finalization of the divorce. To cover myself in regard to payment this what I do. When I get paid, I get the $377.67 and go to Amscot to get a money order for said amount. I then make a paper copy of the money order and a electronic copy on my computer and then deliver then payment to my ex. This went on for months but then I started to get notices from the Dept. of Revenue saying I was $3300 + behind in Child Support when I never missed a payment. I have all my receipts and copies. I went to the Dept. of Revenue and Child Support Enforcement to prove that I have been making payment as per our agreement. I showed the agreement to the counselors at the Dept. of Revenue time after time. The people at Child Support Enforcement where more receptive than the pricks at the Dept. of Revenue. They didn't care that I had receipts. They demanded payment and I told them to kiss my ass and take me to court. They continued to send out notices and I asked my EX to go down to the Dept. of Revenue and tell them that I have been paying the Child Support. She did that but at the same time told them that I didn't pay her in the time we were separated, which is true but I gave the kids the money cause they needed more than she did. She was pissed over that one. But that didn't help either. Notices continued to come and I continued to show proof of payment. I am extremely surprised they didn't garnish my wages. I went down there several times trying to straighten this out but they weren't interested. So at some point a hearing is going to be set and the fight is on again. So at this point I go down to the Child Support Enforcement office at the county building and pay with cash, check or credit card. The secretary there is hot. All I can say is She has a nice Butt for a white girl. I like big butts. She is the reason I go to the office to pay to see her walk back and forth from her desk to the back to get change. What a site to see. Well I went to the Dept. of Revenue and was informed that a hearing date was granted to resolve this issue with Child Support. The date was set for Oct 15, 2008. Well lets get to Oct 08' to finish this post. On the day of the hearing I got dressed up to look good for the hearing to show respect. I showed up a typical 30 minutes early and Angela showed up just in time to go in. I came prepared with all my receipts again. We sat down in the hearing office and began with an oath of truth. The lawyer from the state began saying I owe $3395.00 in back Child Support and the judge said Why do you owe so much and I replied I don't owe a dime cause I've been paying Angela directly as per the divorce agreement and I showed the judge the section which states that the Support is paid directly to the EX-wife. That is what I did and have not missed a payment. I asked the judge if she had the 4 copies of the receipts I provided to the Dept. of Revenue. She (the Judge) said No I don't. I said that's fine cause I have my receipts. I gave them to the judge and she did the math and showed that not only have I paid but over paid and they gave a credit of $377.67 which accounts to 1 payment. My EX-wife then said what about the time between the signing of the agreement and the finalization of the divorce which is approximately $1500.00 in the rearages. I had a felling she was going to do this so I researched this and if there is no amendment to the divorce agreement she is not entitled to the money. The lawyer from the state stated that I owe $1500.00 for that time period and I said to the lawyer if there was amendment to the agreement that states that I owe any back Child Support. The judge looked at the lawyer and asked again is there an amendment to the agreement and the lawyer stated "NO". The judge looked directly at my wife and said "You are not entitled to the money". My EX-wife jaw hit the ground. The judge told her you should have gotten a better lawyer who knew what they were doing. The judge looked at me and said "How did you know about the amendment clause, I replied "Research of family law procedures". She said "Good Job, I glad someone does their homework". I asked the judge are we just about done and she said yes I have a few papers to sign and then you can leave. I asked a question of the Judge, Why is it that I make all my required payments do I get treated this way? She replied That "You can be found and have a job" I said "That's great". 5 minutes later I'm walking out leaving my EX complaining in the hearing room. She was pissed off to no end. She had the nerve to call that afternoon and complain about the hearing, so I told her "Do what you think is right". So, whom ever is reading this post especially MEN do your research if you don't have a lawyer and even then do your research. This one is for the Men who get screwed in this state.

As the Bullshit Turns

It's March 08' and I've been in my new apartment a very short time and already my EX is starting her crap. I only want to be away from her but when I think I'm out, she pulls me back in. She has begun to annoy my children but not having any money and them using to much of the utilities. My kids call me constantly and ask me to talk to her about her bitching but I tell them I will but I don't know how much it's going to work. Lately since the divorce she has progressively gotten worse with her unpredicable behavior towards the kids. She knows I go to bed about 9pm each night to get up at 3am to go to work but she called again last night around 11:15 pm to yell at me because my son and her were arguing about him playing a video game and was loud. I told her what does this have to do with me and stopm yelling at me. She paid me no mind and continued yelling at my son as she's yelling at me so I hung up the phone. She called back and yelled at me for hanging up on her and I replied if you don't calm it down I will do it again. She calmed down as I spoke to her regarding my son because he's my son when he does something to piss her off. She said he is always on the computer at all hours and not going to school. I told her to turn the computer off at her specified time and take take the power cord off the computer so he can't go on the computer. She replied then he'll complain about that. I said Angela you are the parent in the house start acting like it. If you give in he's won and you'll never get the control back. You need to stick to your guns if you want to fix this problem and if you don't if your fault and then don't call me because I don't live there so I can't enforce any rules there. This crap would not be happening if I still lived there because sometimes talking and grounding doesn't work but a little old fashion ass whopping is in order if it needs to come to that. I spoke to my son about what has been going on and my son says Yes, he was loud but mom just started to yell at him for it. She didn't ask him to be quiet, if she did he would have done so but she started to yell and he wasn't going to be yelled at by her. My son said he made a mistake and tried to say sorry but she wouldn't listen and the drama was uncalled for. I thought I was the yeller but apparently she takes the top prize. My kids started to call her the bypolar mom because 1 minute she happy and the next a raving maniac. I never thought she would get like this but apparantly she was hiding this side of herself from me. She is a fragment of what I thought she was. I'm so glad that I got away from her but I still fear for my kids. Not that she will do anything to them but just the stress that must be in that house when she blows up, it must be intense. I'm sorry for the kids to have to deal with the bullcrap.

Going to trial and Finding a New Home

Well, I moved out of the Townhouse and now living at a shelter in Tampa, Florida. Not as bad as thought it would be. It's one of those shelters that you actually have a room to yourself but it's like the size of a jail cell but I'm not going to complain. The door locks, so I can keep my uniforms safe from prying eyes and hands. The staff knows what I do cause I know the guy who runs it. I have to change at work before I leave so no one what I do cause I don't know the drama it may cause with me having a job and the rest of them probably don't. I stay groomed and take showers in a community shower like the Army so that is how I'm treating this time in my life. I go to work all week then on my Friday I head back to Eddie's so I can be around the kids for 2 days and Hang with Eddie and Jason. Come February I was told by my public defender is when we will go to trial. I told him that is fine with me cause I'm ready to fight. My lawyer spoke to my son about what happened that night and my son told him he would testify on my behalf. That made me feel good to have my son do that for me but hopefully it won't come down to that. Hopefully the prosecutors will get some brains and either reduce the charges to disorderly conduct or drop it all together. If not, we will be going to trial. On Feb.1st, 2008 the prosecution agreed to my terms of the case. I offered them a plea, that I would agree to a reduced charge of a disorderly conduct with no anger management, spousal abuse classes, because there was none and no community service and probation at 6 months also with-holding adjudication and a fine. With-holding adjudication means that when I complete the probation there will no Conviction on my record. Like it never happened and my son would not have to testify. That was my greatest concern even though he was on my side but a 15 y/o boy being questioned by those lawyers and attacking him for changing his testimony from the statement he wrote would not have been pretty. What is amazing a week later I was notified that my divorce will be finalized on the 25th of Feb. Horaaaah. Soon therafter I found a new place to live and really cheap so I can afford the child support and have my own place. I can live like a human again. Well it's Feb 25th, 2008 the day that the Divorce is final. At 9 am today it's over and I'm so happy you just can't emagine. It's 10am and it's over, what a joke that was. It took roughly 15 minutes to desolve a 20 year marriage and it was great. When it was all over I thanked the judge for his help and walked out. Angela called to speak to me about the hearing and I told her "hey don't worry about it cause the guys are taking me out to celabrate my divorce" she replied are you kidding me, NO, I said and she hung up the phone. Angela called again while I was out at the casino and during that conversation I told her I would coming to get the rest of my stuff because I'm moving into a new apartment, March 1st, 2008. She said "Already" and I replied "I don't have to tell anything about my plans because you lost that priviledge when we were divorced today" then I hungup the phone.

Confronting the lies

I obtained a copy of the restraing order statements and was surprised that my own son claimed I pushed Angela the night I caught Angela and Mya in bed together. This really hurt me to know that I didn't and my son saying I did. Now I know how deep the manipulation has gone. She stated that I was on a unknown medication which in fact I was on weightloss medication which was prescribed by a doctor. In her statements she described me as a monster. I became very upset and spoke to my friend Eddie about it and he said " you know it's not true. My middle daughter came over to Eddie's house the next afternoon and I wasn't home but Eddie's daughter was and showed my daughter the statements and she became very upset My daughter called her mom and questioned all the lies that she put down about me. Angela knew she was in real hot water. my daughter informed my other children and there was a real problem at the house that evening. Angela called me and asked me why I showed her the statements and I replied I didn't it was on the dining room table with the rest of my paperwork. If u are upset maybe you should have thought about that when you lied to get me arrested and the lies on the restraining order packet. In the same conversation she said she was not going to attend the hearing so it will just be dismissed. I told her I don't care if she shows or doesn't show there is no evidence to prove any act was committed. Angela in her own statement says she doesn't even know if she was pushed. That's amazing for a person who never forgets anything. I can't trust a word that spews out of her mouth so I'm preparing a statement for the hearing and bringing along the letter which states she doesn't even know if she was pushed and she just wanted me out of the house. What amazed me is that all my children offered to go to court with me and testify in my behalf. I explained to my son that I don't blame him, I blame his mom for manipulating him to tell a lie. I will always love him. That will never change. r.

Not afraid to say sorry

In my 20 year marriage I made my mistakes but they were with money and being somewhat emotionally unavailable at times depending on the situation. There is one question I can answer with confidence that I have never cheated on my wife. Angela could never say that because the 1st time she cheated was while I was in the military stationed in El Paso, TX. Angela was with a guy then but I guess that wasn't enough so she tried the lesbian route and I guess it worked. She was never really into anything fun. She was like her dad who is very stern and have not much of a personality. It is all about the money and hold things over your head and never saying "SORRY". She never said that word because for some reason she thinks she's better than everyone else. I took responsibility for my actions and accepted the consequences that come with those actions. Angela still denies her affair after my 18 y/o daughter saw them kissing and now that Mya has moved into my house 2 days after I was arrested and they are sleeping in the same bed now. Mya's appearance is like having a 5' tall pear shaped mexican lesbian who's ass is as wide as the door opening to the house. That may be a bitter comment but that is what Angela left me for. The funny thing Mya work for a urologist office and works with penises all day. My kids just go with the flow and try not to spent to much time at home to witness the type of behavior.

The Right Path

I have 3 children with my ex-wife Angela and they are great kids. I have 2 daughters and my son. I have told my daughters as they were growing up they need to go to college and have their own life before considering marriage because they don't need a man to support them. If something does happen they have the ability to support themselves and not rely on a man to support them. I also tried to show my son how to treat a woman with care, respect and to never put your hands on a female in anger. I stress to all my kinds they need to get their education and obtain what they would consider in their mind "SUCCESS". I will support them in any path they choose to go as far it is legal. I told my children I didn't raise criminals and if you are arrested don't call me to bail you out. I don't know if I can really do that but they believe I'm serious about that. It is better to walk away than to resort to that kind of behavior. After my experience with the lies that put me in jail for domestic violence is I'm doing just fine and just like Hulk Hogan and OJ, I get it. I would never harm my ex because that would hurt my children and put me in jail for the rest of my life and that is not something to look forward to. I still getting over it but it's gotten alot easier. I want the best for my children but they are the ones who have to do the hard work, it never hurt anyone and I'll be right behind them cheering them on or if need be push alittle bit.

Restraining order and Fiscally Irresponsibility

Angela contacted me thru the mail to let me know the divorce settlement is still intact. Due to the drama my 15 y/o son doesn't want to see me and that is fine, his decision. I'll wait until his feeling are not clouded and manipulated by his mother. He will soon see with clear eyes what things really are and who caused his family to breakup. I was arrested just because Angela wanted me out of the house so Mya can move in so they can be together which she stated in the letter she mailed to me. She also stated if I stay away from the house and the kids she will not show up at the restraining order hearing. I told her I don't care if she goes or not but I will see my kids. I told her I don't care what she does anymore. Angela doesn't want the kids to know what truly caused the family to breakup. Angela told me the reason for the divorce is because I was fiscally irresponsible. I didn't pay the bills on time. That maybe correct but Let me give an example that my son came to me that he needed new sneakers so I told him let me see his old shoes and yes he needed new sneakers so we went to the store and I bought him what he needed. Angela got upset cause the Cable bills was due and I told her my son needed shoes and that the cable bill can wait. It will be paid I told her but Angela went crazy cause she wants everything paid on time regardless of what the family needs. I told her as long as the important things are paid that is all I care about. If that is my worst trait then I'll accept that.

The Day After

I went to work the next day and saw a co-worker who works in the control center and looked at me and I asked him if he knew what happened. He said yes and it was ok because I complied with regulations about notifing them of the arrest from the jail. That day was difficult because I had meetings with managers and supervisors. I had to right statements of what transpired that evening of the arrest. I had to give them copies of the arrest report and notify them of any court dates. I jumped thru alot of hoops to keep my job. I left work and stopped by daughters boyfriend house where she was and when I arrived she was crying and said she was sorry but she had nothing to be sorry it was all her mothers fault. I then called the Sheriff's Office to set a time to get what I need for the time being. As I was getting my uniforms for work my son began to get upset about the whole situation and the Deputy told him to calm down. The Deputy asked me what happened here the other night and I showed him the arrest reports and witness statements. The Deputy told me "Just be happy your out of that situation"and "You didn't kill them" and I replied "That would have made things alot worse". I said to him "I just want to be done with it". The next day I was served with a subpoena to report to court for a restraining order hearing. Since the arrest I've been staying at Eddie's apartment He has been a real friend and when I get back on my feet I've got to do something nice for him for allowing me to stay with him and his family.

While in Jail

I was placed under arrest and transported to the county jail in Land o Lakes. While in Jail I meet some Deputies that I knew when I was deputy. They knew what I do for living and didn't put me in general population. They gave me some freedoms to the dismay of the other inmates. Actually they forgot I was there and the judge had left for the day when they asked me if I had seen the judge and I said "NO". They Said "OH SHIT". They went and called the judge on the phone and called him back to sign for my release. My job and background worked for me and the weak charge helped. All the deputies read the arrest complaint and said they would not have arrested me but the Deputy who did was on the job only 6 months. So I was released about 9 pm on wednesday 26, 2007 but had no way to get back to the house to get my van and find a place to live. I remembered my friend Eddie Torres and called information for his # cause I didn't have my phone listing with me. I called but he didn't answer. I then walked about 3-4 miles to the corner store at SR 52 and US 41. I again called Eddie and he answered the phone this time and told him what happened he was stunned but later said he had a bad feeling about Mya. Eddie and I went back to the house to pickup my van. As Eddie went to the house to drive the van to where I was waiting. My youngest daughter who 17 years old was looking for me but I didn't stop to talk cause I couldn't be at the house with a no contact order in effect due to the arrest.

The End Finally Comes

On Tuesday July 24, 2007, I notified Angela that I would be going to the Seminole HardRock Casino on Wednesday 25, 2007 with some friends and I would gone for the evening. After all that has happened I was still courteous to my plans with her. I went to the Casino but all the while in the back of my mind thinking if Angela has Mya to the house around my children, engaging in that deviant behavior. Well I returned home around 1:30 am on the 26th of July and only saw Angela car in the driveway and was happy but that was short lived when I looked in the car and found a carseat for Mya's Son. I became upset and entered the house to find my son attempting to block my way. I told him to get out of my way and entered the bedroom to find them together. All hell broke out and I was yelling for the Lesbians Cunts to get out of my house. Angela reached for my neck and I pushed her arms away from me. Angela told me to leave the house cause I was not supposed to be here. I replied this is my house and I could come and go as I pleased. She called the Pasco County Sheriff's Office and with their wisdom they placed me under arrest for domestic violence.

What Angela didn't know and she does now.

After Finding out my wife Angela was having a Gay affair, I knew what I had to do. This was to protect myself from further deception. I told Angela that "I don't care what to do or who you do it with just don't bring it home to where our kids are." To me this seems reasonable but that is not what Angela did. Every opportunity she had while I was at work she would bring Mya home and spend time together while Mya kids was watching tv in the livingroom. I know this because after the divorce my daughter told me what was happening as I went to work on the weekends. Well, I can let whomever reads this to know what Angela has lost. I was saving for a real wedding and a honeymoon which we never had back in Dec 1987. I saved over $3000 in 4 years. I did this because it was to be a surprize for Angela. She used to ask me "If I wanted to marry her when we got married" and answering truthfully "I said NO". Let me explain the answer. Marrying her was never a question but the timing was wrong in my opinion. We were not mature enough or financially able to marry. Angela wanted to marry after I had just moved down from Long Island, New York. She wanted out of her parents house but It would make her happy so I went along with it. I know, it was my decision.

The Deception of a Married Woman

A little background story. In the bible it says "feed the hungry, cloth the naked, house the homeless". This was and still is my belief on life. So lets get to it. I was married for 20 years when I got divorced. My ex-wife (Angela) decided to start having a gay affair with Mya Rohrer whom I helped because she claimed to be homeless. The story I was given was Mya was homeless and with a young boy who was conceived from a rape. I let Mya stay at my house so she and her boy would have a safe and stable place to go during the weekend cause she said she lived at a shelter for battered woman. This went on for 2 years. Then came the day when I found out that my wife Angela and Mya were having an affair. I called out from work on April 17, 2007 it was Sunday, I walked out of my bedroom to witness the both of them joined a kiss while Mya's son was sitting next to them watching tv. I called Angela into the bedroom and called her out on that and she denied it happening. I then tossed out Mya from my house and told her not to return. This was a time of major stress because she wanted me out of the house and I wanted to try to save my marriage but after some major conversations and arguements realized there was nothing to save. So I began the process of preparing to leave but only when I could lesson the impact on my three children.