Tax Season and Insurance Settlement

In Oct 07' I was involved in an auto accident on my way to work. I was going approx. 50 mph when I looked in my rear view mirror and noticed a car behind me and it seemed it wasn't slowing down. I stayed in my lane thinking he go around me but no luck with that. This gut drove directly into my rear end of my van. He hit me going at least 70-80 mph but amazingly not allot of damage to my van but his car was smashed. He had a small Toyota or Honda. After he hit me I just stood in my lane waiting to see if he was going to run but when he noticed me move to the side of the road he followed because his front end was falling off. I got out of my van walked to his car and asked him why when we are the only cars on the road did you decide to ram me. He wasn't alone in the car, his girlfriend the actual owner of the car was in the passenger seat. I'm thinking that she was giving him a job and he lost control of the vehicle. That is the only way I can explain not seeing my vehicle. My adrenaline was flowing and I didn't fell anything at that time but later in the day I started to fell my back tighten up. I contacted my doctor and he referred me to a rehab place. I called them and they also helped me retain the services of a lawyer to deal with the insurance people. The owner's insurance company called to see when I can get the van to the shop for an estimate of repair. Surprisingly, the cost was minimal about $1500 to repair. I started rehab on my back and that took almost 6 months to do. Well in late July 08' my lawyer called and said they want to settle out of court for $40,000 and I said that's fine, take it. Well, I really didn't get $40,000 because out of the settlement I had to pay the lawyer 33.3% which was $13,333.33 and the medical which was $14,400 and the rest was mine which was $11,564.25. I had to decide what I was going to do with it. I decided to take a trip to Brooklyn, New York for 2 weeks and stay with my sister and Dad, buy a car and get rid of my van which was $414.00 a month(Voluntary Repo). The car I got is way better on gas than the van. Bought clothes for my kids and gifts while on the trip. Bought a plane ticket for my eldest daughter but she never used and I lost $100 for putting that on hold. Well I didn't give a dime to the ex, I asked myself why should she benefit from my pain again. I had a good time with the settlement money but then after spending all that money I was like, How is this going to effect my taxes when tax time is here?. Well, I spoke to a tax professional and explain the situation and said don't worry because you don't have to claim it because is was to bring you back to before the injury and accident occured. So, that relieved alot of fear from my mind.

Emotional Terrorism

My eldest daughter and my son are on a path to drive my ex-wife Angela crazy and I don't know if I should try to help. I know I should but I told her all will come back to her 10 fold. My eldest is leaving dishes and cups in her room whom she shares with her sister and they are constantly fighting over my eldest turning off the lights at night so her sister can go to sleep. Angela is constantly fighting over the power bill that it's way to high and my daughter needs to get off the laptop and go to sleep at a normal hour. I don't see this fighting ending anytime soon. But here is the real dozy my son plays this PC game called World of Warcraft and he has begun to stay on it till all hours of the night and not going to school the next day because he's tired. I say to bad and go to school but I don't live there so she just lets him stay home because she doesn't want to fight with him. So now he playing the game. He can spend all night on the computer and not go to school the next day cause he knows his mom will not fight with him about it. But she calls me to complain about he's on the game all night and he's not going to school. I ask are you waking him up and moving him to go to school or taking the easy road and just not engaging him to go to school. She said I just don't want to fight with him about it, then he's won I said. I try to talk to him about his school but when he gets back to the house he gets upset and tells his she a bitch and a liar. He has been on a terror with his behavior towards his mom. I try to ask him why he does these things and he replies because she deserves everything she is getting. I told him is it because she divorced me and he said yes and that she destroyed our family.. I told him what happened between your mom and me has nothing to do with you guys and you need to respect your mom cause she's your mom regardless of what she's done. He replied when she starts giving respect then she'll get it and not until then. Well, I can't argue with that. I spoke to Angela about this and what my son said and she asked me if she deserved what she was getting. I didn't answer her but in my head I was yelling "YES". She said all she wants to do is get some sleep but he's all day, all night, laughing, cursing and typing on that dame game. I told her I would try to put the parental controls on the game so she can get some sleep for once and we age ed on what time the game would be ending. I put the parental controls on the game and when it shutoff in the middle of a raid he went crazy in the house and Angela called me at around 11pm(I was sleeping) because they have been fighting for an hour already, she asked me to remove the controls and I told her if I do this, this will be the last time I want to hear of this. She said turn them off and I did. He realizes that as long he's acting like this he'll get what he wants in that house. Angela called the other day asking if I would pay for a month of World of Warcraft for my son and I replied are you out of your fucking mind because if I do that I'm condoning his behavior towards you and I don't so I won't. I'm sorry I said but I told you I don't want to hear of it again. I tried to help but you won't keep up a united front regarding this issue. I'm done with it.

Great friends and Family Support

I can truly say that 2008 was a tough but great year. It started off with difficult issues being resolved but if not for the advice and support from my friends and family, I don't know what I would have done. I probably would have gone crazy and done something horrible but for the great friends and family I have, that was not necessary to do. Thru friendships and talking about issues, I have come to realize that all that happened last year, it had a reason. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have advice to all Men who have gone or will go thru similar issues as I to never back done, never give up and fight till the last drop of blood , sweat and tears. If it were not for friends such as Jason and Eddie's advice and support who were instrumental in my identifying that what I was going thru was for a reason, I would have cracked. Cause after 22 years together sharing birthdays, holiday, family events all the exes want is the money you have besides Child Support and to make sure you as miserable in your life as they are in theirs, so to get back at them by living your life to the fullest and because of that, they will hate you. They will see what they have missed out on. Most woman not all believe that after they see that we are moving on, they want what we have and will do everything to get it. They want us to be as miserable as they are. My EX came over one night and confessed to me that she is unhappy in her situation but she needs the girlfriend to help with the expenses with the house. That the kids are driving her crazy, she has no friends or life to speak of and she complains that I get to come and go as I please and I replied "That is the beauty of Divorce". I told her I gave her what she asked for and now your regretting it, it's to late to go back. I've established myself again and I'm enjoying myself. She said "If I get her to leave will you come home" and I said "NO" because I can't trust what you say or do. That is gone and will never come back. At that point I said "I guess the grass is not greener on the other side". She replied " You win". I said "it's not about winning or losing it's about what is best for the kids". I think me being emotionally and financially stable is the best thing that can happen for my kids cause then I can help them achieve there goals whatever they may be. Pay your Child Support and do what is right by you. Don't do anything more or less than what the laws allows you to do. Stick to your agreements and don't make promises you can't or won't keep. Save all corresponses between you and the Ex cause it may help you in court hearings as it did for me. Keep a file on everything that has to do with the kids and the Ex cause it will only help you in the end. For those that don't have a lawyer there are services out there to help you prepare the legal paperwork to get things rolling in the proper direction. It's not very expensive compared to a minimum of $1500 for a lawyer to do the paperwork verses with my cost of $300.00. The lawyer fees doesn't include going to the hearing and that cost approximately $100 to $200 an hour. If you are doing the right thing and are articulate in your speech and reasoning, you'll do fine. I said to Exes lawyer "That the only difference between you and me is that you have a piece of paper that says you went to law school but the knowledge in your head, I can get thru research on the Internet". So don't be intimidated by lawyers because they are liable for their wrong doings and they don't want to be tied to something unethical or illegal. So drive on brothers and fight the good fight.

Internal Affairs and being Mr. Teflon

When my Criminal case was over, my job decided to have Internal Affairs do an investigation into the charges against me. They were notified by me and by the courts that the charges had been reduced to Disorderly conduct and I received 6 months probation. Well, I was still staying at the shelter at this time so there was no home # to call, just my cell #. I was told that a meeting was to be scheduled so I would speak and make a statement to the investigators regarding the final judgement. Well, I was on my days off when my Manager decided to call me and told me "Where are you" I replied "Who the hell is this". My Manager said "This is Marco", you have an appointment with IA today". I said "No one told me, I guess your are going to have reschedule it because I'm not in the area". I said to him "If you guys want me to be there, someone going have to say something to me in advance so I can make sure I can be there". So when I got back to work in 2 days, my manager told me "I better watch how I talk to him" and I replied "Your the one who call me and didn't identify who you were, so If anyone needs to correct how they speak to someone it is you", also if an appointment is made don't you think the interested person (ME)should know when that appointment is. Well I meet with the IA investigators regarding the arrest and they were OK but one was just intent on what the statements said and I told him "I don't care what the statements say That is not how it went down. I showed him letters from my EX that stated that she just wanted me out of the house and that was the easiest way to do it. So I really don't care if you believe me or not but the truth is I was arrested on a false charge and I outlasted the prosecution and they agreed to my terms not the other way around. I wrote a statement for them about the night I was arrested and gave it to them. It took 4 pages to complete. I told them that the only reason I took the disorderly was so my son would not have to testify and be questioned why he changed his statement. The prosecution would have battered him on the stand and I didn't want that to happen. Well, a week past and the decision was to give me a counseling statement (non formal disciplinary) that says don't do it again. Really it's not worth the paper it's written on. That is all they can do because all other paths of discipline were unwarranted. I take this as a VICTORY in my eyes because I beat the criminal case, the Divorce and now my job. I am what my fellow soldiers in the Army used to call me and that is MR. TEFLON because nothing sticks.

Child Support and the State of Florida

March-August 08'. The Child Support system here in Florida is run by 2 state agencies, the Dept. of Revenue and Child Support Enforcement. When I got divorced the agreement was that I would pay the child support directly to my EX. The 1st payment due 2 weeks after the finalization of the divorce. To cover myself in regard to payment this what I do. When I get paid, I get the $377.67 and go to Amscot to get a money order for said amount. I then make a paper copy of the money order and a electronic copy on my computer and then deliver then payment to my ex. This went on for months but then I started to get notices from the Dept. of Revenue saying I was $3300 + behind in Child Support when I never missed a payment. I have all my receipts and copies. I went to the Dept. of Revenue and Child Support Enforcement to prove that I have been making payment as per our agreement. I showed the agreement to the counselors at the Dept. of Revenue time after time. The people at Child Support Enforcement where more receptive than the pricks at the Dept. of Revenue. They didn't care that I had receipts. They demanded payment and I told them to kiss my ass and take me to court. They continued to send out notices and I asked my EX to go down to the Dept. of Revenue and tell them that I have been paying the Child Support. She did that but at the same time told them that I didn't pay her in the time we were separated, which is true but I gave the kids the money cause they needed more than she did. She was pissed over that one. But that didn't help either. Notices continued to come and I continued to show proof of payment. I am extremely surprised they didn't garnish my wages. I went down there several times trying to straighten this out but they weren't interested. So at some point a hearing is going to be set and the fight is on again. So at this point I go down to the Child Support Enforcement office at the county building and pay with cash, check or credit card. The secretary there is hot. All I can say is She has a nice Butt for a white girl. I like big butts. She is the reason I go to the office to pay to see her walk back and forth from her desk to the back to get change. What a site to see. Well I went to the Dept. of Revenue and was informed that a hearing date was granted to resolve this issue with Child Support. The date was set for Oct 15, 2008. Well lets get to Oct 08' to finish this post. On the day of the hearing I got dressed up to look good for the hearing to show respect. I showed up a typical 30 minutes early and Angela showed up just in time to go in. I came prepared with all my receipts again. We sat down in the hearing office and began with an oath of truth. The lawyer from the state began saying I owe $3395.00 in back Child Support and the judge said Why do you owe so much and I replied I don't owe a dime cause I've been paying Angela directly as per the divorce agreement and I showed the judge the section which states that the Support is paid directly to the EX-wife. That is what I did and have not missed a payment. I asked the judge if she had the 4 copies of the receipts I provided to the Dept. of Revenue. She (the Judge) said No I don't. I said that's fine cause I have my receipts. I gave them to the judge and she did the math and showed that not only have I paid but over paid and they gave a credit of $377.67 which accounts to 1 payment. My EX-wife then said what about the time between the signing of the agreement and the finalization of the divorce which is approximately $1500.00 in the rearages. I had a felling she was going to do this so I researched this and if there is no amendment to the divorce agreement she is not entitled to the money. The lawyer from the state stated that I owe $1500.00 for that time period and I said to the lawyer if there was amendment to the agreement that states that I owe any back Child Support. The judge looked at the lawyer and asked again is there an amendment to the agreement and the lawyer stated "NO". The judge looked directly at my wife and said "You are not entitled to the money". My EX-wife jaw hit the ground. The judge told her you should have gotten a better lawyer who knew what they were doing. The judge looked at me and said "How did you know about the amendment clause, I replied "Research of family law procedures". She said "Good Job, I glad someone does their homework". I asked the judge are we just about done and she said yes I have a few papers to sign and then you can leave. I asked a question of the Judge, Why is it that I make all my required payments do I get treated this way? She replied That "You can be found and have a job" I said "That's great". 5 minutes later I'm walking out leaving my EX complaining in the hearing room. She was pissed off to no end. She had the nerve to call that afternoon and complain about the hearing, so I told her "Do what you think is right". So, whom ever is reading this post especially MEN do your research if you don't have a lawyer and even then do your research. This one is for the Men who get screwed in this state.

As the Bullshit Turns

It's March 08' and I've been in my new apartment a very short time and already my EX is starting her crap. I only want to be away from her but when I think I'm out, she pulls me back in. She has begun to annoy my children but not having any money and them using to much of the utilities. My kids call me constantly and ask me to talk to her about her bitching but I tell them I will but I don't know how much it's going to work. Lately since the divorce she has progressively gotten worse with her unpredicable behavior towards the kids. She knows I go to bed about 9pm each night to get up at 3am to go to work but she called again last night around 11:15 pm to yell at me because my son and her were arguing about him playing a video game and was loud. I told her what does this have to do with me and stopm yelling at me. She paid me no mind and continued yelling at my son as she's yelling at me so I hung up the phone. She called back and yelled at me for hanging up on her and I replied if you don't calm it down I will do it again. She calmed down as I spoke to her regarding my son because he's my son when he does something to piss her off. She said he is always on the computer at all hours and not going to school. I told her to turn the computer off at her specified time and take take the power cord off the computer so he can't go on the computer. She replied then he'll complain about that. I said Angela you are the parent in the house start acting like it. If you give in he's won and you'll never get the control back. You need to stick to your guns if you want to fix this problem and if you don't if your fault and then don't call me because I don't live there so I can't enforce any rules there. This crap would not be happening if I still lived there because sometimes talking and grounding doesn't work but a little old fashion ass whopping is in order if it needs to come to that. I spoke to my son about what has been going on and my son says Yes, he was loud but mom just started to yell at him for it. She didn't ask him to be quiet, if she did he would have done so but she started to yell and he wasn't going to be yelled at by her. My son said he made a mistake and tried to say sorry but she wouldn't listen and the drama was uncalled for. I thought I was the yeller but apparently she takes the top prize. My kids started to call her the bypolar mom because 1 minute she happy and the next a raving maniac. I never thought she would get like this but apparantly she was hiding this side of herself from me. She is a fragment of what I thought she was. I'm so glad that I got away from her but I still fear for my kids. Not that she will do anything to them but just the stress that must be in that house when she blows up, it must be intense. I'm sorry for the kids to have to deal with the bullcrap.

Going to trial and Finding a New Home

Well, I moved out of the Townhouse and now living at a shelter in Tampa, Florida. Not as bad as thought it would be. It's one of those shelters that you actually have a room to yourself but it's like the size of a jail cell but I'm not going to complain. The door locks, so I can keep my uniforms safe from prying eyes and hands. The staff knows what I do cause I know the guy who runs it. I have to change at work before I leave so no one what I do cause I don't know the drama it may cause with me having a job and the rest of them probably don't. I stay groomed and take showers in a community shower like the Army so that is how I'm treating this time in my life. I go to work all week then on my Friday I head back to Eddie's so I can be around the kids for 2 days and Hang with Eddie and Jason. Come February I was told by my public defender is when we will go to trial. I told him that is fine with me cause I'm ready to fight. My lawyer spoke to my son about what happened that night and my son told him he would testify on my behalf. That made me feel good to have my son do that for me but hopefully it won't come down to that. Hopefully the prosecutors will get some brains and either reduce the charges to disorderly conduct or drop it all together. If not, we will be going to trial. On Feb.1st, 2008 the prosecution agreed to my terms of the case. I offered them a plea, that I would agree to a reduced charge of a disorderly conduct with no anger management, spousal abuse classes, because there was none and no community service and probation at 6 months also with-holding adjudication and a fine. With-holding adjudication means that when I complete the probation there will no Conviction on my record. Like it never happened and my son would not have to testify. That was my greatest concern even though he was on my side but a 15 y/o boy being questioned by those lawyers and attacking him for changing his testimony from the statement he wrote would not have been pretty. What is amazing a week later I was notified that my divorce will be finalized on the 25th of Feb. Horaaaah. Soon therafter I found a new place to live and really cheap so I can afford the child support and have my own place. I can live like a human again. Well it's Feb 25th, 2008 the day that the Divorce is final. At 9 am today it's over and I'm so happy you just can't emagine. It's 10am and it's over, what a joke that was. It took roughly 15 minutes to desolve a 20 year marriage and it was great. When it was all over I thanked the judge for his help and walked out. Angela called to speak to me about the hearing and I told her "hey don't worry about it cause the guys are taking me out to celabrate my divorce" she replied are you kidding me, NO, I said and she hung up the phone. Angela called again while I was out at the casino and during that conversation I told her I would coming to get the rest of my stuff because I'm moving into a new apartment, March 1st, 2008. She said "Already" and I replied "I don't have to tell anything about my plans because you lost that priviledge when we were divorced today" then I hungup the phone.